BBC Six Music Podcasts.
Six Music.
This is a free download from the BBC.
Find out more at bbc.co.uk slash six music.
And now, Adam and Joe.
Watch out, it's Adam and Joe, coming from space to your brain.
They got a little pack of highlights, from the six music show for you to hear again.
They got rid of all of the music, and the bits that were incredibly crappy.
So now, there ain't a whole lot left, but hopefully enough to keep you happy.
Here we go.
Hello, I'm Adam.
Hey, this is Joe.
Welcome to our podcast this week.
Thank you very much for downloading it.
I hope you're subscribed.
Are you subscribed?
If you're not subscribed, you should be subscribed.
This podcast dropped out of the top 10 momentarily last week.
That's right.
I logged on.
I tend to log on about 20 times a day.
During one of my logs on, I logged on and it was not there.
Yeah.
On the main screen, it had gone down to 11.
Later in the day, a couple of minutes later, I logged on and it was back at number nine.
Do you know what had knocked it out of the charts?
Dr. Winklestein's Crazy Experiment podcast.
Or something along those lines.
Well, people want thrills and spills from their podcasts.
Is that a video podcast?
I don't know, but it made me think we should start doing some experiments.
You know what?
I think we should reflect competing podcasts in our podcasts.
Do what they do better.
That's a good idea.
And use that technique to climb up the pod charts.
Well, maybe next week we should study some of the other podcasts more closely.
I think we should.
OK.
Like if Dane Lowe's beating us with his hottest records,
We play hotter records.
I'm not allowed to play any records.
Oh, God.
You didn't think of that, did you?
I was stuffed.
You're a genius.
So, enjoy these condensed highlights from our show this week and don't forget, of course, that you can listen again to the whole show right now with all the music and everything.
Yeah, by going to the BBC 6 Music website and clicking on listen again, or if you're listening to this podcast before this coming Saturday, Saturday after this show is broadcast, then don't forget you can still participate by emailing adamandjoe.6music at bbc.co.uk with, for instance, an anecdote, a complaint, general chit-chat, or maybe a vote for Song Wars.
Exactly.
So, hope you enjoy it and we'll chat to you again later on.
Great times, great friends, great highlights.
The Adam and Jo's 6 Music Podcast.
It's what extreme boredom was made for.
Ah, excuse me.
Textination, text, text, text, textination.
What if I don't want to?
Textination.
But I'm using email, is that a problem?
It doesn't matter, text!
here's how the feature works the adamant joshua is on the radio and you help to make it every week you can text in this is i'm doing like an explanation right is this from something is this like this is how this is what i say big brother no wouldn't lily allen lily allen yeah that's what she does she explains how her show works because otherwise people would be lost yeah it's a complicated modern show that involves the internet and stuff you need guidance yeah plus it fills up screen time exactly it's battling
So yeah, Texternation, we talk about something and you text us about it.
So yes, you can text us if you're listening to the show live, if you're doing listen again, of course.
Email.
Email.
Yeah, adamandjoe.6music.bbc.co.uk.
Although it's unlikely, isn't it, that they would be read out the following week.
Yeah, we never do, but people still do.
Yeah.
And I read them.
No, you do.
I mean, we do occasionally.
Every now and then, if there's a real sparkler.
Exactly.
A diamond.
Anyway, this week, um, Text the Nation is inspired by the fact that I woke up last night after a nightmare.
It was a terrible night, it was really frightening.
But I woke up and I didn't sit up straight in bed and I wasn't sweating.
And I didn't go, like that, right?
Yeah.
Which is, of course, a movie cliché.
And I- it just occurred to me that, um, you know, I very seldom do anything that I see in- in big movie clichés.
And, uh, it's a shame.
In fact, I couldn't think of one single movie cliché thing that I've done.
Once I got very close to sweeping a lot of objects off a table in a fit of anger.
But then I just thought, no, because I'd have to pick them up and I'd break a lot of things on the table.
So I wouldn't- I'm not gonna do that.
here's one I think a lot of people might have done is ripped a photo into right you know if there's a picture of you with an old girlfriend or boyfriend who you no longer want in your mind or a friend who you now think is a bit of an idiot yeah you symbolically you symbolically rip it into have you done that with any of our press pictures all of them
and then I usually put them back in the frame so that when a new friend comes to visit they can get an idea of my psychological problems just by looking at my photos.
I do that with your pictures but what I do is I burn holes in your eyes with a cigarette.
Really?
I've got, what I've got is a photo of an old school photo and as I kill each person I'm scrubbing their faces out.
But I've kept- I've put it in a drawer under some pants.
You do it with a couple of- So the police will never find it, yeah.
Right.
In your nutty room.
And what I also like to do is, uh, is if there's a frame photo of somebody I don't like, I look at it, then I just turn it face down on the- on the shelf, you know what I mean?
Yeah.
Diehard style.
Now, here's a few other clichés that maybe you've been involved with.
Have you ever opened a door or picked a lock with a credit card or a paperclip?
Kind of a man do you think I am?
Kind of a genius.
A thief.
Yeah.
A cat burglar.
No, I haven't.
I think I've tried, but that's a bit of a fallacy, isn't it?
Because when a door fits in a frame, there's a bit for you to get round, isn't there?
Yeah.
You know what I mean?
You can't just shove the thing in.
No, exactly.
They've taken that into account.
God knows I've tried.
How about this?
Have you ever been in a situation at a party or whatever where everybody, where one person starts singing a song and then everyone joins in?
That's a very good cliche.
And it must be unrehearsed.
In the movies it's always unrehearsed, isn't it?
Yeah.
What's the most famous example of that?
There's a very famous scene in the film.
Well, there's one in Top Gun, isn't there, where they start singing, um, you know, You've Lost That Loving Feeling.
Right.
And that's a legendary scene.
I mean, that film is full of a lot of cliches.
But in movies, they always get the words exactly right.
Exactly, yeah.
And they always time it exactly right.
It's always in a restaurant, and there's always an old lady sitting at a table next door that suddenly gets up and does a really funky dance.
Which you wouldn't expect, because she's so old!
this is adam and joe here on bbc six music now i saw this advert in the back of word magazine for an upcoming gig that i think you might be excited about joe um it says morton paul and magne
Uh, who do you think that could be?
Is that A-ha?
Well, it's three solo performances from the members of A-ha, all taking place on the same evening at the London Royal Albert Hall.
Wow!
So they're all on the same bill, but they appear to be playing separate gigs, three solo gigs, rather than just one A-ha gig.
So, but, you know, they can't get themselves together to actually just reform and play an aha gig.
Well, that's good, isn't it?
Because often if you're in a duo or a band, you can get a sort of psychological complex that your voice and individual talent isn't being heard.
That's right.
Every now and then that might happen to you and I, you know, you might, I might be annoyed that you get credit for something that I've done.
vice versa.
I might get credit for something you've done.
I sometimes think, you know, people need to know Joe, you know, without Adam getting in the way.
I see that never happens to me.
I never have any of those feelings.
Maybe they've got the same thing.
Yeah, but what's the logic of them doing a gig together?
It's good for them psychologically, and if people pay to see it, then that's a bonus.
That's insanity.
That is bad psychology.
Who's going to play Sun Always Shines on TV?
Yeah, exactly.
Who wrote the songs in our heart?
I imagine it would be Harket, but then probably the others.
All of them.
Do you know that for a fact, Jude?
Maybe they're just going to play their separate parts.
One of them's going to go and he's just going to play lots of bass.
When you say that all of them wrote the song, then you could then split the song down into the good and bad bits of the song.
Like the guy that wrote the choruses was better than the guy that wrote the verses.
Don't you think?
I think so.
One of them's just going to come on, Magna's going to come on and say, hello, I'm playing all mainly middle eights tonight.
I wrote all the middle eights of the song.
That's right, they're going to have to chop up the songs.
They only play the bits that they wrote.
Yeah.
Morten's just going to be standing there with his cheekbones singing all the little backing vocal bits that he wrote, maybe.
I think it's under- I'm surprised more people don't do that because that's a good way to solve that problem of being in a band.
Being in a band drives you mad.
It's well known, right?
How is that- I don't understand how you could possibly think that is a good way of solving the problem.
No one's happy.
Absolutely- They're getting individual credit.
No- well, people in the band are happy, just the audience are upset.
The people in the band can't be happy.
They are luring audiences there, uh, under the pretenses of getting some kind of ah-ha gig, and in fact they're getting nothing of the kind.
They're basically getting people there
they're under the banner.
They're a huge band.
Like if that was the Beatles and you were seeing individual sets, would you complain?
If they're upset about the dynamics of being in a successful band.
Answer the question.
Well, it's not the Beatles though, is it?
If you're Swedish, it is.
Is it?
Yeah.
Are they Nordish?
If you're Nordish, it is.
If you are having psychological problems about the stresses that come with being in a successful combo, the best thing to do is turn your back and plant your flag elsewhere as a solo entity and just get on with your life, not carry on working under that banner.
What a gig.
What a gig.
I'm excited, man.
I think it'll be great.
I think it'll be fantastic.
Maybe we can go along there and find out.
I can't.
I'm busy.
You busy?
Yeah.
I think I might be busy that day as well.
Watching telly.
I think that day I'm unable to move because I've just fallen.
Watch out, here's another little bit.
It might be wicked.
It might be one of the weaker bits.
But that's cool.
I like weaker bits.
I can handle up to three.
And we're talking about movie cliches.
Hello, how are you?
Hi, fine.
How are you?
Yeah, I'm very good, thanks.
Fine.
You go ahead.
No, I was just saying, we're talking about movie cliches, and with particular reference to any movie cliches that you've found yourself involved with in a real life situation.
Yeah, that you've done in real life.
Yeah, exactly.
You've suddenly thought, man, this is like I'm in a
film yeah and we've got some very good ones here this one comes from someone who's either called depressed and can't spell it properly who just is depressed or who is depressed or who is called deep rest because that's how it's spelt but they say I once saw a magician who fainted while on stage as he fell he let go of a dove
that flew behind the bar and sat on a beer pump.
It reminded me of Blade Runner.
Wow.
That's quite good, isn't it?
He actually fainted.
That's very dramatic.
In the middle of a dove trick.
Wow.
Doves flying away in any manner are very meaningful.
Absolutely.
Matthew in Croydon says, I have a friend who does not say goodbye when a phone conversation is over.
He just hangs up when his point's made.
Very irritating.
That is true.
People in films always do that, especially, I think Americans per se, they don't tend to say goodbye.
Uh-huh.
They get surprised if you say goodbye.
They're surprised if you say thank you.
Americans generally, they go, oh, you're welcome.
My dad doesn't say goodbye.
Doesn't he?
No, he just randomly hangs up.
It's very upsetting.
Doesn't even make a little noise.
No, not really.
It's just suddenly, click.
How about this, when you go into the kitchen at night, do you just use the light from the fridge to illuminate your business?
What business exactly are you doing in the kitchen at night?
Who knows?
You can do whatever you like, no one's going to find you.
an alarming thought.
No, but you know what I mean?
I'm not snacking from your fridge.
In films and TV shows when you go into the kitchen in the middle of the night, you know, you don't turn on the light because why would you?
You just use the light from the fridge.
I tend to turn
Well, of course everyone turns on the light.
I'm curious to know if there's anyone out there who uses the fridge as a light source.
Here's a good one from Rusty.
When I was a teen, I worked in a clothes shop.
I quit after a busy Christmas, but I was left out of the Christmas bonus.
I felt quite angry about it.
I had a shop floor face-off with my manager, and when I left, I pathetically knocked over some T-shirts.
To the 14-year-old me, it felt like the greatest vindication of injustice ever.
Yeah, boy.
What's his name?
Rusty.
Good job, Rusty.
That's great.
I bet he's a kind of genius man, I bet you.
Do you think?
Definitely.
It's a good name, Rusty.
That's great.
Kaz in Edinburgh says, when in New York on an art college trip, a group of us decided to try the local nightlife.
We split into two groups to take taxis to the venue.
The first group, which I wasn't in, was brutally murdered.
grabbed a yellow cab and drove off just as we hailed our taxi and realized we didn't know the address so we jumped in and said follow that cab which felt very exciting even though much more exciting than the club turned out to be that's good thanks for that kaz lots more uh have you i wonder i would like to hear from anyone who's found themselves in the uh ventilation system of a building
Well, I think that's a fallacy, because I don't think those ventilation pipes are strong enough to hold a person.
No, exactly.
You know?
You'd just fall through.
Get up there crawling around, pushing the grill up from the top, you know, standing on a chair.
Saying things like, now I know what it feels like to be a TV dinner.
Yeah, with your lighter.
Come to New York, have a little bit of fun.
Whatever he says.
Have a few laughs.
It's time for Song Wars.
The War of the Songs.
Yes, it's Song Wars time again, listeners.
This is the part of the show where we write songs ourselves, we write songs and then you guys listen to them and you have to vote which one is the best.
There's the annoying sound of the stylophone.
You've got three settings on the new stylophone now.
So I noticed.
You've got that one and then you've got yet another one.
What difference does that make?
Well, it's slightly different, the tone of it's slightly different.
What's number three?
Well, number three is the annoying high one.
Oh, so that just changes the pitch?
Well, no, it's a slightly different quality of sound.
I don't know.
I don't know.
And then you can tune it, it's got a tuning thing on the back.
Did you have to tune yours?
I did tune mine, yeah.
It's very difficult to, because I started off, I did a whole track with one and it was horrible sounding.
So did I, I just didn't throw that one away.
That's what I'm entering.
I've got to say that the combination of doing a Kate Nash parody, now Kate Nash, whether you love her or dislike her, and it's hard to dislike her that much, she's only 21, but even so, it's quite a distinct and irritating sound, you know, it's...
affected yeah well we we sort of got bossy because I think we're playing pumpkin soup or whatever yes and and we thought oh that can't be hard to do can it it's like young Nancy from Oliver right in the charts yeah you know she's got a very kind of barrow girl sound and I don't know it's occasionally sounds as if it can't be real because how could someone actually operate in the world talking like that
and not get hit a lot.
But that's fine because it's, you know, a lot of singers affect funny voices for singing.
It's part of the deal with pop.
But combine that with the stylophone and you're mixing dangerous chemicals of, you know, dangerous levels of annoyingness.
Yeah.
So who's going to go first?
Should we flip a coin?
We'll flip the coin.
Okay, I'm flipping.
Call it.
Uh, I'll go heads.
Heads it... I don't know what I'm... It's hard to tell on a two pound coin.
Oh no, yeah, you're going heads, it's tails.
It's tails, so you get to choose.
Uh, I'll go... I'll go first.
You'll go first?
Yeah.
A little bit of thinking it took.
Yeah.
Figure out what tactic could give you the strongest start.
So this is my Kate Nash song is thematically and sound wise by no means close to what she's like and I really tried hard.
It's very very difficult.
But it's not it's not very easy at all so I sort of zeroed in on a couple of very lazy um things that popped out at me thematically.
Sounds alarming.
And as far as the as far as the voice went it's nowhere near at all.
So anyway this is my Kate Nash song.
I was a bit depressed today so I started thinking about binge drinking around three o'clock so I went and done a little knock on the door of my best friend Mandy and my boyfriend Andy he was Randy I could tell cos he kept looking at my bum like he was some kind of pervy bum fan Bums and binge drinking binge drinking and bums
Why are you depressed said Mandy, but not Andy When we was at the shops buying alcohol pops Mandy never stops asking me questions like that So I told her, Mandy it's the media, they make my bum feel fat I have to go binge drinking just so I can deal with that Bums and binge drinking
With my chums, la la la la
Oh my gosh I was so drunk that night I threw up on Andy and we had a big fight And Mandy puked and then we had a meal And later on we all watched Balls of Steel Then I felt quite happy then I was sad And I thought I wonder how many drinks I've had And then I threw up and then I passed out It was so embarrassing my bum was hanging out Bums and binge drinking
Is this to be this performance right now?
Is this to be judged as well?
Yeah?
That's good.
That's live at the end there.
It was hard to tell.
Did you go a radically different direction with your one?
You know what?
I went in a radically similar direction.
Did you?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Especially lyrically and thematically.
Yeah.
You'll find there is one, uh, prominent similarity.
It's the bums, isn't it?
It is the bums.
Because she loves, it's only a couple of songs that she mentions bums, but it really sticks out as being so sort of, uh, bummy.
I think she mentions them in more than a couple of songs.
I listen to a lot of Kate Nash's research.
I listen to the whole of Maid of Bricks over and over again.
It's not bad, is it?
I went out and bought it.
Did you?
Yeah, I didn't download it.
I mean, did you download it?
I borrowed it off someone.
You borrowed it off someone?
I bought it.
No, you never.
Yes, I did.
He's shaking his head.
I bought it.
It's not bad though, is it?
I bought it.
But all this, you know, rambling and rubbish songs and incompetence in the world of presenting makes it unbelievable that we, listeners, have been nominated for an award.
Oh yes.
The Broadcasting Press Guild.
The BPG.
The BPG.
They are an organization made up of critics and we've been nominated in the category for best radio show, I think.
And we're up against Moyles.
Beyond Belief, a series of Radio 4 religious programs.
Yeah, and what was the other show on Radio 4?
The News Quiz.
The News Quiz, you know, these are big shows that we're up against.
But it's very exciting, listeners, and we're going to the ceremony next Friday.
So this time next week we'll be able to tell you if we won or not, but I was wondering if you guys... You know, I don't think we will.
So the key thing is to just simply celebrate while there's a possibility that we might.
Yeah, exactly.
Toot our own trumpet.
That's what my mum always used to say.
You know, just enjoy it while it's a possibility.
Yeah.
Enjoy the moment.
But what if we won?
Nah, that's not gonna happen.
Um, because I've been fantasizing about if we won, you know what I mean?
Ever since we found out that we've been nominated.
I've been thinking about what would we say if we won?
You know, which direction?
Would we, like, make a big song and dance about it?
Would we say something outrageous at the podium?
Would we just be polite and say thank you?
Who will be in the audience?
Because it's all to do with who's going to be watching, isn't it?
It's like making a best man speech or something.
You've got to pitch it to the audience.
All I've heard is that the cast of Cranford are going to be there.
Wow.
I'm excited about that.
I love Cranford.
You should do it in, like, old West Country.
whatever Cranford is.
Cranford is just posh.
But I'm very excited about seeing the cast of Cranford.
I imagine it'll be some of the younger members.
I can't imagine Stench will be there.
Will she?
You've got your eye on some busty wench that you're going to attempt to snog, haven't you?
Dame Judy Stench.
The Stench?
Yeah.
You're going to get a whiff of the Stench.
I've got my eye on the Stench.
So yeah, if anyone's got any... what are your favourite award acceptance speeches?
You know what, I go for the- I like the Coen Brothers style, just say very little.
Yeah.
Awards speeches are boring as Hades.
They're awful.
It's fun when someone- They're only fun if someone makes an arse of themselves.
Exactly, so we should maybe do that.
No, you can't do that knowingly, that's just obnoxious.
Really?
We'll probably do it by accident.
Hi there, this is music artist Beck, Beck Hanson, and you're listening to the Adam and Joe podcast.
I just did a new Beck song about Adam and Joe, so here it is.
Two, three, four.
Adam and Joe with a razor blade overcoat sitting on a food machine eating dirty pickles with a pong.
Did you like it?
I hope so.
Thank you.
This is back, now back to the Adam and Jo podcast.
Bye.
That's not so bad.
If you'd been on a bicycle with a beret and some onions round your neck... I think you need a brown paper bag with one or two baguettes sticking out the top, don't you?
That's just a general I've-been-shopping signifier in films.
Yeah.
I think, you know, the French do tend to eat a lot of baguettes as well, so... Mike says, when I was in Leicester as a student, I had to break into my own room, not with a credit card, but with a fish slice.
A fish slice?
What, a slice of fish?
No, something used to slice fish.
Oh, a fish slice.
Yes.
He should have tried getting in with some fish.
Dennis Simon says, Guys, I was driving, going back to work one day, and one of the two roads into our trading estate was closed off by the police.
The police officer told me that the road was shut and I'd need to drive through town to the other entrance.
Not really wanting to do this, I told the officer, let me through, goddammit!
I've got a gas emergency and need to get to the plum centre!
The plum centre!
He then let me through, moving the barrier and waving me on while nodding his head at me.
I may not have said, goddammit!
and I would have probably been more polite, but I don't think anyone has ever had to get to the plumber's merchant in a film, but I felt like Bruce Willis when I did it.
Yeah, exactly.
It's the point.
It'd be nice to push through some cops and say, let me through!
Flash a badge.
That's my husband in there, or something like that.
You had a friend who carried round a pretend police badge, didn't you?
When we were teenagers?
No, you're thinking about me.
Isn't there someone you knew who pretended to be a detective?
No.
And would occasionally flash this thing in his wallet?
No, I tell you what I did though is I used to carry around my dad's press card.
Ah.
And I used to pretend to be a member of the press when I was about 15.
And I'd taken my dad's photograph because he worked at the Sunday Telegraph for many years and he had a really cool looking press card that said press in big red letters on it.
So I removed his photograph and substituted it with my stupid face.
And I used to go around flashing that every now and again and
cinema queues and things to try and get to the front.
I think it worked once.
Do you not remember?
No.
I think we got to the front of a queue at the Scala or something to see some all-nighter because I was a member of the press.
Here's one from Rob Gold, G-A-U-L-D, Gold.
I think I have a slow connection between my eyes and brain, and hence I'm always doing big movie style double takes.
First I look at something with a plain expression, look away, and then upon realising what I've just seen, look back with a shocked expression.
Sometimes, maybe really early in the morning, I may even do a triple take, which, as you might imagine, looks quite ridiculous.
That's excellent.
Yeah.
And here's another very good one from Richard O'Brien, who's in Bournemouth.
Not THE Richard O'Brien.
Dunno, could be.
Hi Adam and Jo, I'm in Bournemouth training to be a pilot, and we spend all of our days playing volleyball in nothing but aviator shades and stonewashed cut-off denim jeans in a homoerotic manner.
We also ride motorbikes without helmets down runways and have arguments in the shower when we're not in the air, giving migs the bird.
You're lucky, Richard.
It's time to unveil Joe's Kate Nash masterpiece now.
Yeah, it's time for my Song Wars entry.
Joe's Song Wars entry.
Mine's very short.
Yours was long, wasn't it, Adam?
How long was yours?
It's over two minutes.
Mine's only just over one minute because I couldn't put anybody through any more than a minute of this.
I almost didn't bring it in.
Um, it's true!
Don't look so shocked.
Jude's looking shocked.
Well, let's see who loves this.
Let's hear it.
I don't know, it's, mine's called, what was yours called?
Bums and binge drinking.
Mine's called Itchy Bum.
Itchy Bum.
Yeah.
Uh, and again, I haven't really managed to sound like her.
I had to speed it all up in a, in a sort of attempt to make it sound a bit like her.
It's frustrating, isn't it, because she's got such a particular voice, and it's clear that she is affecting part of her accent.
Like, it's not real, you know.
But, uh, it's hard to absolutely nail it.
Very, very difficult, and both of us have failed to, I think.
Here's my song.
This is my Kate Nash song, featuring some stylophone action.
This is called, uh, Itchy Bum.
I've got an itchy bum bum bum bum
in my bedroom watching telly.
I eat another slice of cheese on toast and think about how crap you are.
I've been thinking for an hour now and I can conclude that you are rubbish and you don't deserve to hear me sing this wicked song about my complicated personal problems.
Now I'm sitting at the bus stop My head is full of issues My bog is full of tissues I wish that I could have a lion bar But I cannot afford it And it would make me spotty All over my body That's just another one of the complicated problems I'm gonna put into my next wicked song, darling
Only short, itchy bum.
You had some weird tuning on there.
It's good, it's in tune.
It's a bit bagpipe-y, the stylophone, isn't it, basically?
It makes everything sound a bit big-country-esque.
Yeah.
Oh, I dunno, there we go.
So, the voting is open to you, listeners.
Which of those songs did you like the most?
Ah, you probably just loathe them both.
In which case, vote for the one that you loathe the least.
Watch out, here's another little bit.
It might be wicked, it might be one of the weaker bits.
But that's cool.
I like weaker bits.
I can handle up to three.
So this week, listeners, I went to see an art exhibition.
Yeah, let's raise the level of this conversation a bit.
At the Royal Academy here in London, it's called From Russia, French and Russian Master Paintings 1870 to 1925.
It's a very controversial exhibition.
Adam, why is that?
Well, because the Russians were worried about getting insurance for some of the... It was a diplomatic row.
Yeah.
It almost didn't happen.
They thought as soon as the pictures got to Britain they'd just get nicked.
Yeah.
Something like that.
It's an exciting exhibition.
It's the big blockbuster one you've got to go to if you're in London.
It's amazing paintings that have never been in the country before.
And simply by looking at them,
you become a better person.
It's true, actually, genetically, biologically, things reorganize inside your head and you become more appreciative of beauty, more sensitive and more intelligent.
Like Balls of Steel.
And sexy.
Very like Balls of Steel, the show.
Anyway, and it made me just think about the whole experience of going to galleries and how nice it is and how it's something everyone should do every few months Because it's quite a unique and special experience for the following reason.
Yeah looking at ladies.
I was gonna say that's way
And this works both ways, depending whichever way your bits and bobs swing.
Just there is a unified sexiness to anybody who's even vaguely sexy in a gallery.
I haven't articulated that very well, but by the very fact that they're in the gallery, that elevates their base level of attractiveness.
Do you not think if there's someone who's physically attractive, but yet they're in a gallery, then you know at least two boxes are ticked.
Physically attractive, mentally decent.
Do you know what I mean?
Absolutely.
No, I mean, you know, art school girls, they're the hottest girls in the world.
It's the best place to go to pick people up in the world.
Yeah, and they're all hanging out at the galleries there.
I know, and they look really, you know, they look mysterious and because they're not speaking as well a lot of the time.
Especially in this particular exhibition, a lot of Russian prostitutes.
now I'm just guessing but there were more single women in fur coats with really pinched cheeks yeah there was this one particular woman she had like silver knee-length boots a fur coat on I bet she had nothing under it
You know like one of those prozzies in there, is that a good word to use at this time in the morning?
One of those ladies of the night in a film.
They've always got fur coats with nothing on under them.
And she had like silver eyeliner and a top knot.
And she looked a bit like Tilda Swinton.
Like that, very pinched cheeks.
Have you been to art school ever?
Is that what all the girls look like there?
That's what they all look like.
Yeah, she's from the fashion department.
Hi, this is A Sexy Woman, and you're listening to the highlights of the Adam and Jo BBC Six Music show.
Ooh, this podcast has got me so hot.
I'm too hot.
I'm going to have to sit down and take off my cardigan.
I'm boiling.
Texanation this week is all about movie cliches that have come true in your life.
Have you found yourself in a situation where you realise that life's turned into a film?
A bad film at that.
Or maybe a good one.
Viv in Dundee says, I don't have sex.
I just kick up one leg when I kiss people.
Yeah.
I'd love to see someone actually doing that.
That way I avoid all the nasty diseases and have been given a U certificate.
Why do women do that?
Why do they kick up their legs?
It's a special muscle that's connected to mystery bits.
Here is another one from Ria in Cardiff.
Talking film cliches, I have never hugged a friend stroke lover whom I'm about to deceive and then done an evil mysterious face over their shoulder.
Now she's saying she hasn't done that, but that's a good suggestion for a simple movie cliche we can all employ at some point today.
Yeah.
Hug a friend and then go...
over their shoulder.
Not actually make a noise though because that would give you away.
There needs to be someone watching you.
It's a bit pointless if there's nobody watching you.
Yes.
But yeah, little sarky face.
It's not very nice.
You do it to yourself.
I mean sometimes when you're on your own and you're frustrated by someone you'll just, when they turn their back you'll go...
You know?
You do it for your own benefit.
I don't do that myself.
Again, you don't make the noise otherwise you will get busted.
Yeah.
Here's another one from Matt in Lancaster.
My wife's on holiday in France so I'm home alone.
The other night I went to investigate a strange noise outside wearing only boxer shorts and a t-shirt and muttering, what the hell?
I realized that I was a walking horror film cliche so I ran back inside in case I got eaten by something.
The noise turned out to be the cat being a maniac anyway.
another example This is the reason why I've read it out of people behaving like they're in horror films.
Yes, I believe that cliche is true Well, it's what going to investigate.
Yes, I do investigate noises in your undies.
Yeah, and it's it's just happens I investigate noises in your undies if you're an attractive you're a woman and you're investigating a noise.
It's just better.
That's all yeah to spectate watch Yeah, yes
Uh, this is from Lebby!
Exclamation mark.
Woo!
Lebby!
I once saw LL Cool J on telly, picking up the phone and saying, talk to me.
When I was about 12, in my best LL Cool J accent, I did it.
A friendly neighbour was on the other end and she sounded very confused.
Now that's a good way to, again, get a movie cliche into your daily life.
Ring ring!
Talk to me.
It's risky.
You never know who's going to be Aunty Noreen or someone embarrassing like that.
Talk to me.
I like the idea of a 12-year-old.
Talk to me.
That's a higher voice.
Oliver in Hackney says, while live role-playing, we were attacking an orc stronghold, and I led the troops in, shouting, everybody, go, go, go!
Very cliched, but it felt very good.
I don't know why I did you an unbroken voice there, Oliver.
It just seemed apposite.
Also, once in a club, I saw a girl I like the look of on the other side of the dance floor.
So I clicked my fingers, pointed at her, and jerked my thumb in my direction.
She came over.
I nearly pooped myself, but I pulled it off.
That's amazing.
Nice, nice.
Well, that's it for this week's podcast.
Thanks very much for listening, and we sincerely hope that you enjoyed it.
Yeah, exactly.
What would we do if they didn't enjoy it?
Just ignore them.
I wouldn't.
I'd get depressed about it.
Would you?
Yeah, I would.
OK, if you didn't enjoy that podcast, write to us detailing as precisely as possible why you didn't like it, and we will respond to you in writing with a point-by-point retraction or justification of all the things you didn't like.
Are you really going to do that?
That's true, I'm not going to do that.
Unless, for instance, just one person writes in, then I might do it once.
Yeah, and if it's quite a nice letter as well, with maybe a nude photograph.
Hey, this is a public service, isn't it?
BBC, taxpayers' money, so if you want changes to the show, just write in and we'll make them.
That's not true either, is it?
You've got to stop making these kind of statements.
You're right.
Because you get into all kinds of hot water.
It's a stupid thing to say.
Ridiculous.
Stupid.
Now pull your socks up and we'll be back with you next weekend listeners on our 6 Music show from 9 till 12 on Saturday mornings.
Have a good week.
Bye.
Bye bye.
If you enjoyed the Adam and Jo podcast, then why not try the John Richardson podcast?
Download it now.
bbc.co.uk slash 6 Music.